Life Live!

Hokage Report,

“Life is a live performance with little to no take-twos, and the show must always go on.”

Hello guys, what’s up? Hmm, it’s been a long while. I’ve been absent here for some time, being able to sneak in from time to time but am unable to stay longer to mingle. The title sounds like Love Live?  Umh yeah, I did watch Love Live! despite being a guy…..purely for research purposes (hey, that’s the only excuse I can think of right now). So, I’m here to give my journal some fresh and not-so-updated updates. I’ll include some past happenings that I was too down to even make a journal about….so without further ado, commence battle.

Like what I’ve quoted above, life’s a jerk sometimes. You wish it has that “Ctrl + Z” somewhere so that you can undo a small fault and prevent major disasters….but no, you are left dealing with a no turning back experience…no 1ups included.

Life is extra challenging because we always have that “once-in-a lifetime chance” with many things, and it’s up to us to choose a route we feel we deserve.  It’s either a good route or a bad route. One example of a bad is this: Way back last year, I think it was on August (?) when something awful happened. I was getting ready to go to work, when I noticed a familiar bond sized paper. It’s a short story I wrote when I was still in high school. It was written in English. Yes, I recognized it and I was looking for it for a long time. I really want to laugh at how I suck at English back then. Who knew it was stuck in the same shelf where I put my home-made comics/manga. I pulled it and I was surprised….TERMITES eating the other end of the paper! I feared the worst that moment. If termites are present there, then how about my precious works? It didn’t take long before I got my answer. I pulled out stacks of my comics from the shelf, and there, my early works, the foundation of my art…..covered in soil and a colony of termites. I mean all hell breaks loose! I’ve never seen such a number of termites in one place…those creeps made a relaxing termite haven out of my pile of self-made mangas!!!! Me and my mother managed to bring that heap of termites, together with my works outside the house. There, I knew that it was too late to save my works. The damage is irreversible. Much of the pages were eaten. There’s only one thing to do to get rid of the pests, and that is to burn them. The termites have to be burned together with my early works. As the fire engulf my works, my mind goes blank, maybe out of shock of watching my works becoming ashes in front of me. Those were the mangas I made. They were my companions when I had no friends to talk to. I spend my years drawing, book after book, and now I won’t be able to read them again. I won’t be able to recall the moment of each creation, all of it gone. Years of effort, destroyed in seconds. I’m just thankful that not all my works were damaged. If only I did a good job storing my stuff, but what’s done is done and I can’t turn a clock back….it’s a bad route. I still miss that series till now, all the 30+ notebooks burned that day, it was very saddening. 

Life isn’t always half bad though. You start to become hopeful that things happen for a reason, and there’s a good outcome from every bad events. I’ve always been a shut in. I don’t like going out, it exhaust me. But then I just keep meeting people whom eventually become my friends, friends whom will reintroduce me to a social life I forgot I have. I do often hang out with them. I admit, I’m having fun with them. One instance was when a friend girl (notice: friend girl, not girlfriend---like I’ll have one) asked me to watch a movie with her. I know she really wants to go to the movies for the longest time, and I promised so I agreed. Then I realized that going out with her alone feels kinda awkward (yeah, I don’t take those chances), so we asked another female friend to go with us. On normal occasions, I won’t even entertain the thought of going out to watch movies with others. We went to a mall to watch a movie, “on my expense” (drats! I knew it, those girls)...hehe, but it was on my own vocation….guys pay right? They were in-charge of the food though. The movie we agreed to watch isn’t really my type, but miracles happen and I enjoyed it, maybe because I was with them. It’s a revelation when you watch a movie with somebody, it’s like they are a different person…like screaming at a horror trailer or eating half of the popcorn snack even before the main movie begin… it amused me more. I’ve been very busy lately, but it’s not half bad. I never imagined having so many people to talk to can be this rewarding. It affects me in terms of art since such interactions give me a broad range of experience that’ll be useful in creating artworks that require a human touch and feeling (because I don’t like making depressed artworks very much).

On another topic, my resignation has been delayed, for the 3^rd time! I was supposed to be out of my work since last November, but my boss keeps asking me to extend my stay for another month because they haven’t found a replacement yet, and the extensions reached till February 28. My coworkers’ attempts to make me change my mind and stay is a day to day ordeal. Good thing I’m never out of excuses and alibi. I’m hoping that this is my last extension. I really want to get a good rest and find myself a better job soon. Looking at the course of things, the recent applicants show promise. Most of them suck at drawing though. Not to be boastful but my Boss wants me to stay because of my drawing skills which she hasn’t found in any applicants to date. To be honest, I’ll miss our office a lot. I’ve learned so many things there, and I’m forever grateful to them for helping me all these years (^_^).

So, what have I learned about my recent experiences, its connection to art and life itself? Well, like I always tell myself before doing something “No Regrets!” I believe a life live with fulfillment isn’t a life lived with so many achievements, but a life lived with few regrets. A life lived simple but happily will always outweigh a life of luxury but with a feeling of emptiness. You can’t undo what already happened. It hurts and will always do. The best lesson is to learn from those mistakes and move forward. Fall twice, stand up thrice. Make use of the time given to you and don’t waste it. Be productive. Make artworks, as many as you can, while you can. You’ll regret it if you exchange a piece of art for procrastination. The show must go on, so perform your best act that you can be really proud of!

Whew, this has been yet another long entry, but I felt good writing since I haven’t done this for a long time (^_^). I hope this journal made sense. So until then, this is Hokage…