Excuse Later

Hokage Report,

"What lies between you having your much awaited movie marathon and attending a time-wasting costume party is your ability to give a convincing excuse."

Yes, you have planned it weeks ago, a time of leisure. You finally had the chance to break away from all the tedious tasks work has to offer, and your reward is a stress relieving moment of freedom from it all. You are sitting comfortably on your couch. Your movie is just about to start playing, as you open the potato chips and pour it into your bowl for your snack…when out of the blue, your doorbell rings. There are only two responses for that sudden interruption, one is that you'll be happy to open the door and see your crush standing in front, asking you to go out with her, or be annoyed by someone determined to bring you hell by disrupting your moment of peace. You approach the door; you don't have those handy peeking holes thingy on your door. You have no choice but to open it. The odds are even…50-50, heaven or hell. To your surprise, it's your not-so-friend friend who is inviting you to a social event of a thingamajig. You are thinking of a way to escape the invitation on the spot, when the first thing that you've said is that you are free tonight. (You are so honest). So that "friend" decided to wait for you to get ready and go there together (how thoughtful, he shouldn't have bothered….no really, he shouldn't)….Pretty much you are doomed, your peace is ruined, and you're coming to a party unwillingly…just because you can't come up with an excuse.

Every moment, we are bombarded with different things to make decisions with. Life revolves and continues to flow from one scene to another based on your answer. Now, you have free will to choose which one to favor and which one to ignore. Problem is, not all the time we have an instant solution to a certain question since in is affected by public opinion, subjectivity or responsibility. It is when we are trapped in a spiral of forced options that we try to find a way to escape, knowing that it is trouble. Saying an obvious lie, an excuse will definitely fail…people can sniff out a terrible lie from a well thought excuse. You don't always have an excuse list, but it will come in handy when the right time comes. So, why are we making excuses again?

Unless you are a fast thinker, people are poor at coming up with an excuse on the spot. We can't always predict what's going to happen next, and how others will respond to your answer. Sure, we have so many cliché excuses present, and when I say Cliché, it means it's an obvious lie. "I'm gonna be late, there's a heavy traffic jam along my way", or "I won't be able to come, I don't feel go good" are some of the well tested excuse we have so far, and the fact that it's still effective is magic. In order to give a valid, solid excuse, you must use a situation uniquely possible to happen to you, like if you're a graphic artist, just tell them that you have a pending project to finish ASAP…or something like that (it works for me anyways). Whatever excuse we could come up with, one thing is for sure…you do it to save yourself from something…something you don't like….like responsibility.

We make excuses for a simple reason, to avoid responsibility. Forced responsibility is hard to swallow, imagine doing something you don't like; it will grind you little by little. Willingness to do something is the definition of freedom, and when that freedom is threatened by external factors that are out of your control, you are sure to identify it as a burden, a drag, something not worth your time. We humans are naturally slackers…don't throw your spears on me yet…if I let you choose between relaxation and labor; I doubt you choose the later. What keeps us moving though is responsibility, an act of duty, to do what is supposed to be done for the sake of many. Responsibility is to be accountable, to contribute what you have. It is an unselfish way of living, by doing what is required for you to do means that you are being a moving gear of the machinery we call society….you are being useful, productive and inspiring to others. Nothing's really bad about being responsible. Sure we have to sacrifice some of our lifetime working, going to school and stuffs, things necessary in order for us to be a functional, civilized person the society will accept, but when things get too much out of hand, we want to push the pause button and chill for a while…..that's where excuses enter the scene.

We need a break from a certain responsibility. We don't want to do that task now, so we could either postpone it or forget about it all together…but we are not the center of the world, things doesn't always go our way. When we make excuses, It means that we rather spend our time on what we like to do or more important than what is being offered to us. Other people don't always understand our personal preferences, what we like and don't like to do. Most of the time, they give us tasks while being oblivious that we are allergic to that task. They make us do something that we would like to decline, but due to responsibility, it's like they are giving you something to shoulder with. Not all the time we are willing to do things we don't like, and not all the time we can voice out and say "I don't want to do it". There are many things that make us happy, and one of it is freedom. When we are care-free, it feels like you have the chance to do what you really like, free from what the society commands you to do….this time you are in control, but it is when you are free that you are impested by a random call to do what is not in your to-do-list. When we are personally being asked to do a task, sometimes it's hard to say no. The promise to oblige to a favor seals the deal, and their expectation of you being committed means that you have to do it despite your opposition. The art of not giving a promise of accomplishing a favor or responsibility is "making excuses", the indirect way of saying..…heck I don't want to obey your orders…not a chance.

So, how do you make excuses? It's easier to make an excuse when it's not a face to face interaction, mostly via phone, text message or call. Them not seeing you means that you can hide those pesky mannerisms of lying (a little) and come up with an excuse without much pressure. Everything under the sun, as long as it is realistic, can do the work. You maybe answering to a call of a boss asking why are you still not in the meeting, and to avoid a salary decrease, you tell him that the driver of the taxi you are riding is arguing with the gasoline boy…and their argument is actually about politics and economy, you might learn from their insight so you decided to stay. If it's about being invited to a party where your arch-nemesis will also be attending, tell him that you are not feeling well after eating the mysterious pizza in your fridge. If you received a text message asking you to attend a meeting you so have no care about, at least text back that you are busy doing your neighbor's cousin's homework. Turn off your phone if possible to avoid any unnecessary calls, only drawback is that it will also block necessary calls. Then there's the person to person situation which is harder bullet to dodge. The person can almost persuade you to agree with them, therefore losing your freedom of choice, and your mannerisms of lying just keep parading in front of them. Best thing to do is to avoid the conversation in the first place, but if it's inevitable (you didn't hide very well), you can make an imaginary appointment somewhere so far from where they want you to go, they'll feel sorry for you. If the invitation is not immediate, and will occur in a prior date days from now, you can say that your schedule is a bit unstable, and you can't say if you'll be free anytime (like the busy man you are) but you'll try. In case the date finally came, and you decided not to go, tell them you are going overtime at work, or you are studying for an exam of a lifetime. In case your alibi is legit, tell the truth, but if it's a lie, lie as if it's the truth...(Hokage teaches people to lie..yep)

So, is making excuses an irresponsible act? It depends on the task you are avoiding. Lying is bad (unless it's a white lie). Trying to escape a Wedding, a family reunion or anything important with a petty excuse just because you are being a coward who can't face his problems head on, then you are simply prolonging your burden. You make excuses to save yourself and avoid only those that will not make a very big impact in your life, but if it's something you can bet your life with…face it, do it, don't run away…be responsible.  Making excuses is a natural day to day activity. You just convince yourself that it will work out in the end, that you can fool others, but be sure to say yes sometimes….new experiences are born from unexpected, unchartered regions in life outside of your comfort zone.

Sometimes, it's a question of destiny or free-will. There are instances when a certain event could change your life forever, and your excuse can alter the future in a blink of an eye. If it all comes to where life is guiding you, it's either you reject an event and stop it from happening, or be swept by the wave. You might miss the opportunity waiting for you on the other side if you avoided it through lying; on the other hand, you get your moment of bliss which you won't regret for eternity. Either way, you are concerned about your own happiness, and what makes you happy matters. If you are feeling guilty lying to your friend just so you can play video games, then you just gotta deal with it, regret is pointless now., don't lie if you can't stand for it. You lie to stay in the safe zone, because you are afraid of the consequences if you do accept the responsibilities offered, but who knows, maybe the crush who wants to confess to you is at the boring costume party your not-so-friend friend wants you to go to.

Meh, another long non-sense of an introspect from Hokage…. next time a bit shorter…until then, this is Hokage….(the person who teaches people to lie)